It's Monday morning and for me that means a few things.  It means my amazing friend Becky is here watching my boys so I can do work.  Monday means that I have approximately 7 hours to myself, to drink coffee while it is still hot and email my remarkable clients without my two-year old asking to see pictures of trains on my computer.   It means I can spend the day going over sessions of beautiful photos while listening to good music or an excellent book.  It means I can go to the bathroom by myself and run to the post office without needing to bribe anyone with anything.  I love Mondays.

It also means things are quiet enough for me to think about what it is I do.  I get to spend time being thankful for the past year where I have been fully self-employed and for the people who have surrounded me, supported me and lifted me up when I have fallen down.  A year ago right now I was due with our second son and unlike his brother, he was not planning on showing up early. 

It was one of the most exciting and nerve racking times of my life.  I had quit my full time job nannying, where I could bring my son Soren along and it was the best of both worlds, working mom and stay-at-home mom.  But something was missing and I couldn't shake the feeling that despite being "busy" I wasn't spending my time well.  So my husband looked at me and said, "Let's do this, I trust God and I trust you and your creativity."  Talk about humbling and weighty all at the same time. 

As much as I was eager to take on the lovely clients that would come my way, I started to realize more and more that I needed to seek out avenues to be creative if I wanted to grow.   So I decided what it was that my heart wanted to make and I pursued it.  

I decided that I needed to buck up and ask people with remarkable stories and ordinary stories and beautiful stories if I could take their pictures.  I didn't ask them for money but just the chance to explore a vision of a world that tells good stories and not just tragedies.  I emailed friends and asked if I could shoot their weddings simply because I loved their style and I wanted to create art with them.  I took up watercolors and hand-lettering, not because I'm especially good at either of them, but because I was tired of thinking that not being an expert at something was reason enough not to do it.  I partnered with beautifully talented people and learned from them and with them and found out that sometimes they feel just as lost as I do.  I realized that I love sunrises  and even though I hate mornings, sunrises make mornings worth it.  And in all those things that filled up my heart on my own terms, I made no money. 

Now that isn't to say I didn't ever make money, I shot weddings and senior portraits and family session and head shots and worked with terrific people I am honored to call my friends now.  But the pursuit of creativity, of finding my voice and seeking out stories that the world needs to hear, rarely comes with a paycheck.  That does not, however, mean it doesn't have value.

In a world that automatically defines value as monetary, I think it is the job of the creatives to turn our perspectives to something much greater than money.  I think we need to redeem value as cultivating a full life even in the simplest of things. 

If the value of my job as an artist (which by the way, it has taken me five years in this business to refer to myself as an artist) lies solely in the pursuit of dollars and cents I would never stop working.  It would mean the time spent with my husband or children or a good book or great friends is worthless.  When we determine value as capital and not as cherished time, we tell those around us that their presence isn't warranted unless it gets us something.

One of my favorite times each week is on Wednesday mornings, Soren and I paint water colors while Jude sleeps.  He paints me Seahawks and fire trucks and trains and I work on making floral wreaths and he tells me they're beautiful and I tell him he's amazing.   I lose money on time not spent working and paper used and the number of stain removers needed to clean our carpets, but I couldn't care less.  This is valuable to me. 

Recently I've had a lot of conversations with other photographers who have been struggling with the same thing.  The constant onslaught of people telling us what to charge and how to charge it.  Reminding them to be bold in determining their worth and demanding it.  But the more we talk about it, the more we're tired of it.  No one else can define what you determine to be valuable. 

Is it worth it to shoot the wedding simply for the beauty of it?  Then shoot it.  Is it worth making the print just so everyone can have a bit of encouragement?  Make it, share it, be proud of it.  Does the chance to go home fill your heart enough to do the work just for the cost of travel?  Pack your bags.  Are the lyrics something you need to get out of your heart because they need to be heard by a world that needs better music?  Sing it out.  You are free to spend your creativity however you choose.

I'm not saying that bills don't need to be paid and I would never advocate for debt to take over in the quest for inspiration.  But if the value no longer resides in the art but in the affluence, it might be time to reevaluate your purposes. 

I am writing this listening to one of my very favorite artists, my longtime friend Aaron Espe.  I have known him since I was born and I know that making music has been a long road for him and it continues to be a remarkable journey, but if he had just done it for the money he probably would have stopped after leaving Roseau, MN.  I am so grateful that he continued to find value in the creative process because his music fills my Mondays.

So be bold in how you seek out the creative, get daring in what you conceive, get fierce with the time you spend with those you love, learn something simply for the sake of gaining knowledge.  Love what you make and make what you love and join the revolution of transitioning the definition of value from cash to craftsmanship.  Your creativity has value, spend it well.

It’s almost comical how much of Stephen & Tyler’s wedding day revolved around their first date.   From Tyler’s vows where he described how he nearly talked himself out of their first date a 100 times out of fear that it would never work with such an amazing guy.  To their wedding homily when it was revealed that on their first date, when Tyler revealed to Stephen that he really likes dinosaurs, without blinking Stephen replied “Oh cool, my favorite dinosaur is a Pachycephalosaurus.”  That’s right, not only did he have a favorite dinosaur, but also a very obscure and specific dinosaur.  And there, the beginning of their relationship set the tone for their future.

Stephen gives Tyler opportunities to be brave, believe in himself and have somewhat nerdy hobbies and interests.  Tyler gives Stephen the space to take in the world around him with all its wonder and specificity, the chances to ask big questions and entertain mystery as an answer.   They love each other with abandon, the kind of love that embraces their differences, not tolerates them but invites them wholeheartedly into their lives without condition or the silent resolution to change the other.  They are exquisite together, because they are better together, and so is the world around them.

Knowing that they come most alive without a roof over their heads, they opted for a backyard wedding complete with picnic blankets, barbeques and pie.  It was beautifully detailed and still simple, not audacious but certainly not timid, it was the beginning of a new family filled with light and love and gospel.  Not to mention, it started in an Airstream trailer!

Do you need to tip your wedding photographer?

The short answer is simple: no.  If you'd like to stop reading there and be on your merry way with a couple extra bucks in your pocket and no guilt, be my guest.  If you'd like to know more about ways you can show your appreciation to your photographer, please read on.

I was recently talking to fellow photographer about his upcoming wedding.   He and his fiancee have absolutely loved their photographer's work on their engagement photos as well as the process and he knows the wedding photos are going to be terrific.  In our conversation we got to the subject of tipping your photographer.  Since neither of us expect a tip nor do we often receive them, he wanted to know what to do. 

In our society the average tip you leave for a service is between 15-20% and when the service provided is dinner for $60, leaving an extra $12.50 doesn't feel like a huge burden.  (Always, always, always tip your wait staff, btw.)  But when the service provided is thousands of dollars, the idea of tacking on another fifth of the cost feels a little daunting.  So let me  put your mind at ease.  I have never once met a photographer who expected a tip, especially not an extra 20%.

However, little bits of gratitude go a long way in telling us you recognize our hard work and are thankful for it.  So I have compiled a list of some of the best gifts I have ever received from any couple.

5 - A tip, in an envelope, with my name on it. 

Like I said, you don't need to tip.  I do, however,  remember once receiving a beautiful envelope with a $100 bill in it.  My services start at $2400 so that wasn't near the 15% threshold but it was HUGE in my eyes.  The couple was on a very specific budget and to show that they had set aside extra for me spoke volumes as to what the value of my service was.

And the envelope?  I know it sounds silly, but the bride had found an envelope that matched her colors and hand written my name on it.  It didn't say "photographer," it didn't say "tip," it said my name.  For some people it might be trivial, but knowing my clients hired me and not just any photographer is a gift.

4 - Wine

I know this is kind of specific but I love good wine and usually my clients do as well.  We generally get to talking and excited about just how much fun it is to taste in Oregon and when the best times to go are.  We talk about brands and bottles we like and bond over something we both enjoy.

That being said, I once received a wooden box with three bottles from one of my favorite wineries and I was overjoyed and it gave me a chance to connect with them each time I shared one of those bottles at a meal or with friends and tell them how great my clients are.  In the same way, I've received a bottle of champagne at the end of the night from the couple because they wanted me to "celebrate with them" but, obviously, I don't consume alcohol while I'm working.  That was also remarkable because it showed that they were thankful I stayed through the night.

So maybe your photographer loves Lafco candles or Theo's chocolates or buying new socks at REI, any memento that reflects them as a person is overwhelmingly gratifying.   

3 - A shout out

Recently my friend, Tonie, wrote a blog post much like this one and talked about how much a public thank you meant to her.  When I read it, I was instantly reminded of the times couples personally thanked me during speeches and it brought tears to my eyes.   

As a photographer my job is to blend in most of the time but to be recognized and called out for doing a good job was absolutely humbling.

2 - Kind words

The moment I send a couple an emails that says "your blog post is up" or "your photos are done, here is your gallery" my heart goes in to hyper-drive.  I become a little neurotic when it comes to checking my email , wondering if the couple liked the photos.  My inner monologue goes a little bit like "I hope they love them, I loved them.  Uh oh, what if they don't love them?  What if they hate them?  What if they hate me?!?!"  Then my husband brings me back to reality and reminds me that I'm being kinda crazy.

Telling me you love the photos is a huge relief.  But telling me just how much you love them, which ones you loved, which ones you cried about, which ones caught you by surprise is like filling me up with love.  Then, gushing in the same way on social media is the kind of gift that is never forgotten.

1 - Referrals

The 100% best gift I have ever received were glowing referrals from couples.  If your friends get engaged and the first thing you say to them after "Congratulations" is "You should hire Ali Hormann Photography, she was amazing for us," I could just about kiss you.  It's not just because I love free advertising, it's because it says to me, if you had to do it all over again you'd still pick me.   I couldn't continue in this business without those votes of confidence.

So, if you're worried about tipping, take a deep breath and remember, the majority of us aren't in this business for a six-figure salary.  We love the art of what we do and the people we get to make memories with.  If you're grateful, say thank you.  The top three best gifts had nothing to do with money, so be generous with your kind words and social media tagging and referrals and it will feel like you tipped 1000%.